


Invisible Identity

by Pegasus143



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Muggle, Aroace Fred Weasley, Aroace George Weasley, Coming Out, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:46:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26255863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pegasus143/pseuds/Pegasus143
Summary: Fred and George thought they'd avoided "the talk". Luckily, they had a plan in place.
Relationships: Fred Weasley & George Weasley
Comments: 2
Kudos: 52
Collections: Harry Potter Ace Fest 2020





	Invisible Identity

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Prompt No. 14 of the HP Ace Fest: "Muggle AU with any character where the whole fic is just the excruciating discomfort of having the sex talk".
> 
> Not exactly _complete_ excruciating discomfort, but the fic is very much motivated by wanting to avoid it! Oh, and also a warning for those with emetophobia.

Fred looked around his and George’s empty childhood bedroom. The last of their possessions were packed into the suitcases sitting by the door to the Burrow, ready to go with them to the flat above the shop they’d purchased.

“It almost looks like we weren’t even here,” George said, his voice echoing off the barren walls.

“Almost,” Fred said, exchanging grins with his twin.

“Boys, are you done packing?” their mother called from downstairs.

“Yeah, we are!” Fred shouted back.

“Let me double-check and make sure you didn’t forget anything,” she said, the stairs creaking as she came up.

“Great,” George mouthed sarcastically.

Molly Weasley searched everywhere – under the mattresses, inside the loose board in the ceiling, even out the window – and came up with nothing. Until she looked in the dresser drawers. “You forgot your sweater!” she exclaimed, pulling out one of her itchy knitted sweaters with an F embroidered on it. “Both of you!” she added, pulling out a matching one with a G.

“At least there weren’t any pranks, right, Mum?” Fred said, giving George a very obvious wink.

“Will you two quit it? I don’t need to be thinking I’m losing my mind… it already seemed like there was something I was forgetting before coming in here…”

“You said you were going to send some cookies with us,” George suggested.

“No, that wasn’t it… I left those by the door with your things… just like I did for Bill, and Charlie, and Percy… that’s it!” She left the room, only to turn back and say, “Let’s go to the kitchen for this.” Once there, she put a kettle on to boil water for tea. “Somehow, I completely forgot about giving you two the talk! Even Ron and Ginny have gotten it at this point…”

_Oh no._

Fred was met with an identical look that was a cross between nerves and disgust. While their mother’s back was turned, George pulled out his phone.

 **George:** should we tell her?

 **Fred:** and trigger a rant about grandkids? We’ll miss the train!

 **George:** you’re right

 **George:** but i'm going to puke if i have to sit through this

 **Fred:** me too

“Now, I’m sure you’ve snogged in the locker room at some point, I’m not going to deny that, but you do really need to be careful,” Molly said, setting down a cup of tea in front of each of them. Then she saw their faces. “I know having this talk with your mother is awkward – it still is, and I’ve done it five times before this – but it’s important.”

Fred bumped shoulders with George to get his attention before nudging his pocket, his eyebrow raised questioningly. George nodded, knowing this was the only way to avoid the coming conversation.

“Boys, this is serious!” Molly scolded.

Fred pulled an invisible ink pen out of his pocket. “Mum, we have something we need to tell you,” he said, flicking the UV light on and off a couple of times before handing it to her.

“Start in the dresser drawer, where you took our sweaters out of,” George said.

Molly looked at them skeptically before getting up and leaving the room. She quickly came back to get her own cup of tea, bringing it with her as she left the room once again.

As soon as she was out of sight, Fred went to the cupboard and pulled out a couple cookies. Handing one to his twin, he sat back down at the table.

“At least she made some of the good stuff,” George said, taking a sip of his tea before coughing a little.

Fred patted him on the back. “Let’s not go dying on each other now.”

They were interrupted from a loud bang from upstairs, followed by a muffled “Shit!”

“There’s another point for me!” Fred said, laughing. “I knew putting that one part of the message behind the dresser drawer would make her pissed.”

“And just when I was getting ahead in making her swear,” George grumbled.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be able to get back up there at Christmas.”

* * *

About fifteen minutes later, Molly came back down the stairs, breathing heavily. Throwing the invisible ink pen on the table, she practically fell back into her seat. “Even though I am _not_ as fit as I used to be, I did manage to complete your little scavenger hunt,” she said.

“You aren’t going to start wishing we’d give you grandkids, or complaining about it behind our backs, right?” Fred asked.

She gave a look that was a mixture of confusion and surprise. “Of course not! It sounds like you both actually put some thought into this,” she said, adding a little “for once” under her breath. “And I’m honestly not sure I’d want a horde of tiny pranksters running around at Christmas, anyways.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” George said. “After all, we’ll still be having a competition to be the coolest uncle.”

“But I do wish you’d have come out a bit more conventionally, like your siblings, rather than invisibly defacing your entire room.”

“Sorry,” they said in unison, trying to sound as unapologetic as possible.

“And I’m sorry about what I said earlier, and anything else I might have said in the past that made the two of you feel uncomfortable. I’ll try not to say things like that in the future.”

“Thanks, Mum,” George said.

“If you ever want to bring friends around at Christmas, we’d be delighted to have them. But if you don’t, I’m sure your siblings would appreciate the extra food – I swear, Ron always eats _at least_ four times what I’d expect from a boy his age…”

“It’s all the sports,” Fred said. “Once he gets to be an old fart like us, and settles down a bit, he’ll probably only eat double what you’d expect.”

“Well, you two had better be heading to the train now,” Molly said, glancing at the large grandfather clock. “But I do expect that you’ll try and clean up the invisible ink when you’re home for Christmas. And don’t you dare try to get out of it this time. I know all of your tricks.”

“Are you sure about that, Mum?” Fred asked as the two picked up the remainder of their things.

She sighed affectionately. “Maybe not. Now let me have one last hug from each of you before you go.”

After too many hugs, they finally made it out the door. “Now we have to plan how to tell the rest of the family,” Fred said.

“This is going to be fun.”


End file.
